Yesterday's challenge cup final was seriously un-entertaining..except for the penalty kicks of cuz..shiya's heart was beating too fast(i cld hear..Lolx) but i guessed mine was still at a normal rate..History repeated itself again...i was pondering as i walked away from the stadium,how does it feel like to alwaz be 2nd to someone else? shd be pretty bad..n frustrating too..on the other hand,that makes victory sweeter the next time it comes along..that also depends if it does really come along..dUh..the atmosphere wasn't really great at that dilapidated Hougang Stadium...n we had poor,low quality entertainment during the break..some malay bois rapping rubbish into the microphones..what shyt...it wasn't a great night for me either...aYe..hard to express...sometimes i wonder,are there other forms of expressing emotions other than thru words..hmMm..maybe thru actions...that's so natural but unfortunately,not everyone interprets it the right way..haHa..does it pay to be too kind?? i am starting to seriously think so...the people ard you aren't that nice n kind as u think they r...haha..I sat on the TR side of the stadium cuz u noe y?? i alwaz turn left wherever i go..Lolx..yar,so when i entered the stadium,i just turned left to the stands n tah dah,it was the TR side..lOlx..but its also becuz there were fewer people there..less noise..for a while at least..met calister,former TR player when i was at TR..so nice..she looked so fine..haHa..n saw a few others too..nana,thian...met lin..jill quek even had her floorball gals there..haHa..what's the big deal..Lolx..luckily she didn't shoot her penalty wide..i had been having weird dreams these 2 days..the earlier one was abt me transforming into a dolphin,right in the middle of a video shop..n all that crap lar..i prefer to write that down using a pen thou..then last night,i had 2 separate dreams..maybe cuz i woke up halfway to excuse myself..haHA..=P...the 1st one was shiya buying a toy helicopter or aeroplane ar...cuz the salesperson told her that the toy plane,nicknamed,nicholas(!!),would take her to beijing for the national training tour..LolX..well,she's oredi going anw..tmr...den she was so excited abt it n wanted to buy that toy plane..n i was like telling her to stop being stupid..haHa..can't rem anything after that..Hee..the next one was quite meaningless too..it was me n meli being chauffeured...both of us got into the back of a huge car n was driven ard...dunno for wat oso...forgot the rest..haHa..actually i can rem de,but now like fading liaO..ai yo...i wonder what implications these dreams have hor..but i really do look forward to dreams...weird ones..unpredictable...nice nice...=) its monday again!! must have a good start to the week!! stay coOL!! smile more!! =) =) =) =) =) N pls quit ur attitude k.....ok....=)

do u think it is possible for impossible to be impossible?lolX...i did transcribing for my mum yesterday..means like have to convert conversations into words..get paid de lar of cuz...not bad loh...althou my shoulder started to ache again after some time...must type fast n accurately..hAha..cannot use short forms like "tis"...loLx..must step pedal...must this must that..so ma fan..hAh..but at least got something to do at home n get paid! its not that i dun wan to go out find work but just thinking of it,i dun wan to do those type of boring jobs..admin,sales,data entry...give me something bigger...haH..i really dun want it to happen but its happening...im getting sick of training..everytime i tell myself,its for a greater cause...stick with it..but somehow i just have to pull myself up for trng..i really dun like this feeling..i should be enjoying myself..i need some motivation!! argh..i wonder how many times i blogged saying i was tired of trng..am i being too impatient or what..aYe..n the blardy weather really just kills my mood u noe...wah lau..i tink i need greater control over my mood swings n emotions...sometimes i get so pissed off with myself over small things n it just spoils the rest of my day..with the damn humid weather,heavy rain or hot sun,i just feel like staying home the whole day long..is this change?in me? arGH...*biSH* i need to relax manZ...i need to enjoy life!!!!!! ok...took BTT yesterday nite..at ubi..cool manz..soO many people..i guess i was the only 18 year old ard...n the only one without a BTT bk...the only one not frantically revising at the last minute..hahA...i really sort of just didn't want to bring the bk lar..hEE..not overconfident..but just tat,u noe,sometimes u have that certainty in u that u can just do it...haHa..so fun manZ..seeing the damn strict instructor but feeling tat he is just purely acting strict..haHA..i tried not to laugh...the classroom was nice..really..haHa..long time since i stepped into a classroom..but i like the tables n chairs there..Lolx...aircon tOo..haha..i finished in abt 40mins..my dad said he timed me!!haHA..dunno for wat oso..heHE..cuz i checked n checked mah,make sure first time must pass!! =) i tink can lar..confident manZ..! FTT seemed a little less easy thou..haHa...but dunno y i had a strange feeling after i finished my test,walked out to the carpark to meet my dad who was waiting for me n got into the car..it was this unfamiliar yet longing feeling i had when i walked to the car...seeing my dad standing by it...maybe its the lights of the lamp post..maybe its becuz it was at night...maybe it was the quietness of the street...but i felt so happy with myself n so fortunate to just be present at that moment...hmMMm....haHa..maybe a psychologist could tell me what i was missing in my life all the while that led to this strange feeling...oops...i tink i do have an idea but...can't express it in words..haHa...oh yeah,this sat get to play Lawyers Society female team...AGAIN?? no,haha,cuz i missed the game that time...! hEe...so fast...saturday is like coming again..i rem last sat being only a few days ago...oh my....time really flies now...why??haha...whu can really answer my qn....friday=mcCafe??haHa...discipline dorKo!! =I

"Some people create with words or with music or with a brush and paints.I like to make something beautiful.When I run, I like to make people stop and say, 'I've never seen anyone run like that before.' It's more than just a race,it's style. It's doing something better than anyone else. It's being creative. "
Steve Prefontaine

i finally got rid of my addiction for granola bars!! chEers!! haha..actually it was a few days ago..i swear not to buy any of those ever again..just look at the sugar content loh..wah lah..n u noe wat too much sugar in ur body can lead to??haha..mario noes!! *winkS* n now,im glad to say tat im nicely addicted to green apples..loLx..i like it sour really...rather den red ones..mario brought those sweet sweet stuff she promised tio trng yesterday!! i esp like the seaweed n the ginseng sweets..haha..goonnnaaa get more ginseng sweetys later..althou i noe lar,got sugar rit..hEe..hope it doesnt rain later...otherwise trng wld be incorrigible..arGh...yesterday we had photoshoot...sooO siao...boring lar..today get to have fish for lunch!! not tat im sooO excited,anw i dun really like the type of fish my mum alwaz buys..tat type wif 4 quarters..yuCks..but its a break from chicken lar..haHa..i can't believe elmo ate chicken rice for dinner yest...loLx..but u noe wat!! i had a great discovery..hahA..after trng yesterday,we went to lucky plaza for dinner..tat top level food court yar..i tried the bean curd wif pearls sort of drink..damn nice can..wah lah...its just sooO nice..i tink got a bit of mango taste but its so damn nice..ahHH...but yar,i just had tat for dinner..heE..sian lar...i still havent decided on my plan B leh,how?? tsk tsk...still got 1 more month anw..see how things go first..haHa..aye...tmr is my theory test!! haha...no sweat manZ..im gonna pass 1st time!! loLx..seriously...i WILL pass first time...=I cant wait cant wait!! =)

yesterday's work wasn't really nice to do..maybe cuz b was in such a sucky mood...spoiled my mood oso..wah lah...i promise myself tat i will nv ever work on a sunday again...not for b...but we got a few moments to use the field during the break...sav,az,sam,didi n kaka n sav's fren...nice fren...looks a bit like ila...hAha..oso duno y,i feel damn sick when i see him...its not like im forced to work rit...come on manZ...u gotta have control over ur life!!! arGh..sometimes i tink im too soft..sometimes..like a rock...it just depends on the situation...haHa...is this wat u call split personality or wat....noOoo lar...nvm,today is monday..must start the week well =) gotta have chicken for lunch today AGAIN...yesterday was chicken rice for lunch,claypot chicken for dinner...now!! sesame chicken wif potatoes..arGh...oh well,take it tat im helping increase the fish population alrit...nth to write liaO..arGH...u noe smtg??haHA..i made a prayer wish to God this morning..hEE..smtg i normally wldn't ask or tell anyone human....n the first time im asking God for this!! haHa..*blushes* .....................m3......................................

gamsa hamnida!! haha..the first korean word i noe,n the only one..haha..my fellow musketeer,M1 a.k.a. mario(!!) taught me..lOlx..so Fun!! i mean this musketeer-O thingy..i feel like so young again..u noe..forming alliances or societies among ur frens...haha..so story-book like..=) oh yar,n we r called M.E.D. too..coOl manZ...club med..hah...must record all these down cuz got sooOO many nicks..will forget..yar manZ..my memory like fading..can't really rem simple stuff,like where i put my bottle at trng blah blah...must be my brain missing sch.lOlx..wun be long!! yeah,then there's fellow musketeer,M2 a.k.a. elmo(!!)...all our names have 'O' as the last letter so we decided to call ourselves musketeer-Os!! aYe...how not to have fun u say uh-huh...anw,today is/was voting day for taiwan..really crazy manZ...i mean over there n right here in my hse!!my parents were so anxious over whu was gonna win...budden i knew it right before manZ..chen shui bian wld definitely win...althou i tink he does suck a little...lien chan isn't tat fantastic either..maybe if jay chou ran.......loLX...unimaginable!!so silly...haiZ...so sianZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZ...........working tmr!! yaY!! =)

went wif carol to great world city after trng..had that seafood chowder breadbowl i had been yearning for..haah..not exactly the best of impressions but i saw the counter crew just pouring the chowder from a packet n den diluting the stuff..loLX..we sort of gave tat *eyebrowns together* look..haHa..but it tasted ok..n it came wif a biscuit thingy..hard to bite but sweet n crispy..nice nice..=) still not satisfied,or shd i say,we felt tempted,haHa,we went to mcCafe..had a double chocolate frapp!! oh no..haha..n it was blended wif oreo cookies!! ayE..once in a while lar..ok...unfortunately,ai en n shiya not ard..but still it was gd fun..v tired!!! go slp now..*yawN* oh yar,mario's back!! haha..just toked wif her online..nice nice..=)

u guessed it rit! im so damn bored..i still cant decide..ID or Arch..headache X5....sometimes i think tat i tink too much..but sometimes...i need to think..I like a quote Steve Prefontaine said...i can't rem the whole thing but i know its there in my head...n i will rem it forever...can anything last forever??forever meaning till the day u die..the world around is changing so much,all at the same time.singapore.do u realise tat many new policies are sprouting..education,health,economy....can we trust tat the government is doing wat's best for the people?or does it put the country's economy first??suddenly,i feel tat we can't trust the government totally,in everything it does...although since young,i alwaz feel tat the government wants the best for our country n would do its best to help its people...maybe im wrong...or am i too grown-up now..turning into a typical government-critic singaporean...but i definitely dun like the idea of having a casino in singapore...wth is the government thinking...revenue from such entertainment?? to boost the economy?? people do get weary...but if it lasts too long,people get weary forever...i wonder how the future singapore would be like...how future singaporeans would be like...maybe b4 one can ever find out,singapore may be drowned by the melting ice bergs from the poles,submerged under the ocean forever...i can't help but start taking a liking to granola bars...the quaker chewy ones...ever since i had my first bite..discipline is lacking...maybe im weak mentally..but i admit tat i've been eating too many of these bars...i once had 6 on 1 day...wat was i thinking...do humans lose control at the slight sense of hunger..or is it emptiness...i wonder if i can last till may..till tournament...cuz im getting sick of my life..its so routine..n i dun look forward to trngs unlike b4..to a lesser extent i shd say..maybe i shd seek greater challenges...the emirates advert really hit my hard..."when was the last time u tried something for the first time?" i can't rem...although i yearn to try something new,somehow there aren't enuf motivation...inertia's too great i guess...there are soooOO many things in life to achieve...can 1 actually achieved everything??ohno,feeling heavy in the head...

wat happens when u do not feel like blogging??u still blog rit..=_=

wassUp manZ!! today's trng sarked!! it was fun as well!! lOLx...yeah,the field was muddy,stank and unfortunately,muddier as rain came...but we were back to work as usual...coach was stricter,thou...how strict can he be...=0 i still have trouble draggin the ball back wif the sole of my boot...cuz like the studs cant get a proper grip on the ball..arGh..must practice more of this..arGh...we played 1 v 1..unfortunately,n dunno wth anyway,i was paired up wif tis person which i wld gladly avoid....but well,i had to do it anyway...n i wanted to make sure i wld get pass her n not let her get pass me..i did succeed...n i actually became more aggressive than usual..Haha...well,it must have been the determination inside me to make sure i beat her..heE...a bit shy saying this..*blush blush* but it really made me thinking...i shd be this aggressive all the time...u noe..i just went right thru her..shoulder charge..haHa..really shy saying this....shit..ya,but i shd do this everytime...HumPH....change my mindset...coach said to go all out during training,like how we shd play in games...alright!! den we played 2 side...not bad lar..scored 1..missed 1 cuz i just flicked the ball towards goal n the ball slowly slowly slowly rolled on the muddy ground n stopped just before the goaline..lOlx..ayE...anw,glad to see adilah,nisa n christine back again!! =) n yar,adilah still owes me 3 bucks ;) heE...regina got prob...her grades v bad...most f9s..her 'O's tis year...her teacher allows her 2 football trngs per week...she toked to coach..coach said he only sympathised wif her...aYe..oso dunno lar..but dun be disheartened reg!!obstacles r meant to make u a stronger person..on the flip side of obstacles lie success..but first u have to overcome n withstand the obstacles before u get to enjoy success..sooOo damn true isn't it...hmmmm....seriously,i dun noe wat my plan B will eventually be thou i submitted my applications just today..i just didn't want to continue pondering,pondering,wanting the best for myself,cuz it just makes me more headachey n frustrated..just make a choice manZ...but den again,it concerns my whole life..my future..tats y i didn't want to just anyhow submit my choices...anw,wats done,done..dear god,i noe u noe wats best for me..watever happens,i will noe its for my own good..let me trust u...as for my plan A,i just have to keep working,keep the faith,in myself n in god...god!u ruLeZ!! hEEee...yar,n i didn't go clubbing wif my classmates today..they wanted to meet after my trng to go to some club at orchard rd cuz dunno got wat RnB event..but i really stank after trng so i couldn't go anyway...clubbing,wats the big deal abt tat...luckily i chose not to go...but there's alwaz a first time rit..yeah,maybe next time..haHa..n someone's been using my nick to tag in elmo's blog..really got me pissed off..cuz it can really create misunderstandings n conflict..luckily elmo knew me well enuf...i couldn't have said those stuff in the tag board...phew...but to tat damn idiot whu used my nick,u ought to start reflecting on ur behavior n character...u must stink manZ!!

can life be as bad..damn it damn it damn it...i missed today's game...u19 won the Lawyers' Society 8-2...damn it DAMN IT...arGH..arGh...siGh.........wats the pt manZ..its over...cuz i went to the DAMN NUS open hse...damn IT...daMN IT...went for a few talks over there...i esp wanted to listen to the design n environment one..im glad i knew a little more abt the course,OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF FOR WASTING TIME!!!! n yeah,no portfolio is needed..i met sarah n her fren,su-ching,whu is also interested in architecture n so we went to figure things out wif the dept...n cool manz..there were displays of works by arch students..tat really hit me hard n made me just wanna do arch straight away!! it really did.u wun believe it but every time i turn to face any direction,i can just see,right in front of me,someone i know..from pri sch,sec sch,jc or watnots...yeah..its like an unannounced gathering.."Alrit gals,be there.See ya" yeah,something like tat...arGH..i hate myself..well not really..in fact,i have made up my mind after today...THAT....i will take arch..dun like to be so indecisive anymore..send my option..go for interview..go for test..the rest will be upon God...if its meant to be,its meant to be..seriously,i wld have to study long years if i want to be an architect in singapore..8 i tink...by then,everyone my age would have been earning big bucks..just look at the meagre figures of all occupations..damn it damn it...pro footballers earn 60,000 pound a week!! damn IT....daMN It....arGHARGH....can i be sad for a while...=( i missed the game =(

my day started boring n will end boring..unless! haha..i go TN meet shiya for dinner..hAha..but soOo late...n carol n aien dun wanna tag along..siGh..no beansprouts to pluck today =) did a bit of lifting..n went to collect my phone!! yaY!! actually i felt less burden without my hp..haHa..see..boring day..nth to blog...anw,mario flying off to korea tonite...caught her on msn just now..wif elmo..n we gave ourselves a nick!! the 3 musketeer-0s.....mario,elmo,dorko!! =) cool cool!!! haha...yeah,she'll be back in a week..such a lucky gal..get to get away for the hols..me? damn it manz,still stuck here...haha..but i dun wanna miss trng too...heE...BORING BORING.....lalalalalalalaalalalalalaalala....watch louis koo on channel U @ 9pm!! cool show!! its really cool manz..i love those time travel shows...how i wished i cld travel in time too..to the past.....colonial singapore..yeah manZ...i love those old buildings...i like old stuff...haiZ..bring me back!! haha...someday someday....go to the future too!! see how ugly the world will be..haha..nice nice..."jiu de hai shi zui mei".... heE...maybe i'll invent a time machine someday...*dreaming*....hey! impossible is nothing!! =)

hmMm..oh yea(i dun mean im happi),no u19 trng today...n dun feel like going for eb trng.anw its raining..haHa..oh yea,i had an eventful morning,this morning.haH..i was trusted the responsibility to pluck beansprouts.not the 1st time doing tis n given tat tis is too mundane a thing to do,i decided in a split sec tat my life wasn't gonna be tat miserable.its wasn't gonna be a routine.im gonna add some PuNCh to tis boring task...so....i challenged myself to complete the task within 15 mins =) haha..i couldn't stop smiling to myself as i attacked those seemingly lifeless white,frail stalks...n my hand-eye coordination was pretty good too!! lolX...yeah,n its the 1st time i so frantically savaged the whole plastic bag of beansprouts wif so much energy within me..i rampaged those in 16mins,just 1 min short!! argHh...must improve my time the next time round..haha..thou i hope there's no next time...=)

i read something really interesting today..about crop circles..got the book from Ji!can't believe tat he's reading such a book wif so many words =0,but,yar,maybe he has grown up..=) anw,its abt how come crop circles do exist,the research done on them n finding out the sources of this phenomenon...i was shocked when i saw those crop circles...so fascinating,creative,simply awesome!!! too bad can't upload the pics..really nice manZ...ahHhhh...pple speculate tat these are the works of aliens...whu come in saucers....cuz there are eye witnesses whu saw lights from the sky...blast of lights...n these crop circles can appear in simply within half an hour..it can't simply be man-made...then there's the talk of the earth's energy n more forces forming these circles...wahHh...how i wish i could see for myself those crop circles!! interesting!! n the designs r really really nice..nice!!Ji said he's starting to read those UFO books n he said the reason y human beings were reportedly captured by UFOs is becos the aliens want humans to help them prevent their species from dying out...so exciting!! shit...if only i could encounter those uFos n get sent to Mars!!wOw...i really want to help them(if wat Ji said is true)...anw...really interesting...crop circles...n yeah...thurs n fri no trng..so b***** sian...so going st wilfrid again...haiZ...b is now getting back to his old self..his TR self..the one part of him which i dun like...cuz he's starting to scold,get pissed n.......those new gals all get scolded...spoil my mood..i guess when we prepare for league,we have to do those things we did at TR all over again...siGh...n tues trng wasn't fun...there was tension in the air,especially between meli n az..oso dunno wth happened...den a few others oso so bored...including me..haHa...but no choice...maybe i wun play for eb after all....(how can u say tat!!)* life's choices* haiZ....here comes the real world!!!!

yoZ! aye aye..has been a loOOng time since i bloGGed..yaY..haha..quite sianz n too lazy to blog unless really need to say something tat can't find its way out of my mouth..anw,im going for club trng today..its been a long time since i last went n coach asked me to go down for once only so i guess i can do tat small favour to him..moreover,i tink i need a new environment to play my football..like everytime at TN,lousy field...so tired of tat..n yesterday was worse...we played a lousy 2 side n i have to run abt so much wif an upset stomach cuz there were only 3 on each side...really spoiled my mood..budden it was the rain too...but but...i got happy after trng..haha..cuz tracy's parents drove 4 of us to orchard mrt...in a merc!! lolX..wats the big deal =O oh well,anw,they were quite hesistant to take us all in cuz we were a little wet n we had to really squeeze..lin,titi,shiya n me plus tracy n her parents..haHa...we left the seat a little wet when we left..heE..but i could c tat her parents are well educated,strict(first impression counts!) n my feeling is tat,u can never be close to such parents..if i had them,i cld never have heart to heart toks wif them..haha..i dun even have such toks now..loLX..den after tat,we went to Long JOhns n to search to no avail for a comforter shiya wanted to buy for her fren's bday today..we walked around orchard in heavy rain mind u..n were soaked so damn wet..luckily we had windbreakers on but they didn't really helped much..haH...n we got lost in orchard 2x...haha..u can nv count on me to show u the way in orchard..neither can shiya..so we went home empty handed....but luckily,shiya's fever didn't get worse..*pheW* soOoOOo...im going for club trng today!! in my new jersey...yAy..red,black,white..haha..waga...oh yar,n i was so idiot yesterday..my hp went bonkers cuz i used it in the rain..hAh..damn it,i deserve it..haiZ..my 3650!! gotta send it for some "care" services..Haha..today...anw,i tink there wld be few pple at trng tis wk..no ITE gals...den those nat gals now like nv really come for u19 except for a few...*yawN* gd luck to all for trng today..hope its a gd one! ;)

"Graduates are everywhere,but there can only be 1 champion."

ai ya...i got dc just now so my blog got erased...anw,i was saying...i have a sudden urge to watch disney cartoons!! aladdin, beauty n the beast,alice in wonderland..how i wish i cld live in such a fantasy world..so nice...n so exciting...can u imagine?? haha..am i being nuts...nonono...its a great escape from the real world..into fiction...quick quick,i must get those tapes now!! can't wait!! =0

yoZ..today's trng so sianz arh..coach sick..anna got home trng..so we played 2 side from the start..n unfortunately it wasn't a pleasant experience especially during the last few minutes where...well...wasn't pleasant..but i scored 2!! hah..but not enuf to change the atmosphere..i could just sense the tension in the air...pple at fault..i can't say..n i dun want to...there were so few of us,it wasn't even like a proper trng..the worst thing,after trng,some pple sat down to discuss n comment on other players..i dun really like tat..its like saying un-nice things behind a person's back..y do tat?? i really didn't want to join in the conversation but some of them were just enjoying pointing out other pple's faults n all...to the person who spoke the most,i have only 1 thing to say...a question u should ask urself is,"r u even fit to criticise others?" siGh..not only did i feel irritated but sad as well...maybe its all those feelings stored up inside them for so long tat for once they had to release it out..i dun noe..i feel incapable of controlling such a situation..ikha had it rit..(anw,ikha alwaz says useful stuff which probs me to think a lot =) ) she felt tat we shouldn't be saying such things.its not wat a united team shd be abt..she said she still felt attached to the ITE team cuz they were so united..they meet almost everyday after sch...ok,maybe its a different lifestyle altogether..but..we do need team bonding..haiZZZzzzzzz....so sad...i tot i was gonna be happi..haHa...looking forwaRD TO our dinner on friday!!(",) hope nothing gets in the way!! heE..anw,yar,i feel happi when i go out for dinner wif shiya,carol n ai en..yaY.. =) =)