stayed home the whole day today.but i do feel that i am getting better after drinking so much stuff n visiting the toilet soOOO many times.last nite was the moment when i felt that everything was getting worse.plus,the blackout.the whole place was practically so stuffy,plus my even more stuffy nose.wahHH..drank chrysanthenum tea today.one big big glass.ah ma brewed for me on my request.heE.her chrysanthenum tea is the best! just now drank smtg else oso.tasted salty n like ping ping deh.nice nice.hee heE.drank cough mixture,ate lots of strepsils.haha.so,that makes me feel better now! really hope that i can recover by tmr.not impossible rit..hah,but i m still staying up tonite for the game.all the way portugal! watched wimbledon live! henman vs a 20 year old kid called M.Acic or smtg.woW,the kid is damn gd.6-6 first set.7-4 then i dun noe liao.haha.upcoming star manZ.his serve,fastest was 131kmph!
tmr got another LVP game.i think i mentioned it so many times liao.haha.shd i go??go/no go??

go go go portug-O!! =)

something to do during a blackout.heE. 

all that's left in my room.lol. 

倒带 演唱： 蔡依林 专辑： 城堡 歌词:

我受够了等待 你所谓的安排 说的未来到底多久才来
总是要来不及 才知道我可爱 我想依赖而你却都不在
应该开心的地带 你给的全是空白 一个人假日发呆找不到人陪我看海
我在幸福的门外 却一直都进不来 你累积给的伤害我是真的很难释怀
#终于看开爱回不来 而你总是太晚明白 最后才把话说开 哭着求我留下来
终于看开爱回不来 我们面前太多阻碍 你的手却放不开 宁愿没出息求我别离开
你总是要我乖 慢慢计画将来 我的眼泪却一直掉下来
过去怎么交代 你该给的信赖 被你亲手缓缓推入悬崖
从我脸上的苍白 看到记忆慢下来 过去甜蜜在倒带只是感觉已经不在
而我对你的期待 被你一次次摔坏 已经碎成太多块要怎么拼凑跟重来

yo.like very quiet in here.heEe.anw,everyone needs some peace rit.went to watch liverpool women vs TR yesterday.like club outing,so cool.heEe.feel the togetherness.haha.a little i guess.cuz me first time wif club pple other than trngs so.....yar.i love the TR goal.curling free kick.left me staring into space for quite a while.very nice.sort of like beckham's.really bent the ball.got another game on thurs.vs national selection.the liverpool team seemed quite ordinary on the pitch.but their touches were good.almost always first touch play.n their control.good too.they build the game up slowly.not like eager to play the ball forward all the time.anw,our trng ended early when for like once in a long while,i din want it to end cuz i was really enjoying what we were doing.oh well,den took cab wif gwen,ping,angeline,cynthia,jana,diann and maO.2 cabs lar.haha.the jouney seemed much more fun than the game itself.haHA.it's always like that isn't it......it's the built up that excites more than the thing itself.once it happens,the excitement dies down.that's life i guess.heE.
got sore throat.duno what i ate.but i dread sore throats.esp when u have to run 6 rounds,do shuttle runs blah blah.damn uncomfortable.a bit of flu.sianz.cannot get sick manZ.
portugal vs holland! hAHA.gg for portugal.hate the dutch!!! total dislike!!! dun like those greeks too.hUMPh.

i hope the czechs will win this tourney. =)

listen to jolin's dao3 dai4.
*thuMbs up*
shd be jay chou's workpiece??!!?? so much like his style. ;)

hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..........we vs men today.lost.got scolded.once.on the field.by ***(mentioned b4..lol) i tell you,i hate being scolded.just tell me n i will listen.dun need to show ******* attitude towards me.i admit it was my mistake.i shd have gone for the ball instead of waiting for *** to pass it to me.fine.now i know.i really detest pple wif attitude problem.i played right wing,right back n stopper.cool rit.not at all.i dun noe how to play bloody stopper so what i do? i just take 1 man.N coach.coach jamal.dun wanna swear although i have oredi done that.pple reading this,let's keep this between us only k.after the game,we had our post-match talk.so coach jamal like tell each one of us individually where our mistakes were.that's ok wif me.so when he came to me,he said smtg abt me being afraid of the guys cuz they were much bigger n taller than me,plus,that i looked lost when i got the ball n din know what to do,plus,i din support kaka enuf.the last pt i do agree.cuz how to run back n forth so a little frustrated.but bloody hell,how well does he thinks he knows me?he knows what i am thinking?? wtf.his opinion of me became a fact,when it isn't even one.he said i was afraid,i wasn't agressive enuf,******,i was fearing what those guys cld do to me.******.i tell u,i din even have time to bother whether that guy closest to me is tall,big,huge,fat,handsome or whatever.i din even have time to fear anytg cuz we were playing pretty fast.so bloody hell,i really hope that next time he can seek my opinion first b4 coming to his own bloody conclusions.n i shall be more more more more aggressive.he said since nor cld go into challenges wif hands n legs high whether or not that guy was tall,big,huge,fat or handsome,so cld i.fine.it wasn't that i did not do that,but i did not do that as many times as nor did.yes,that's true.i had lots of running to do.i din say anytg when coach jamal was toking abt me.really,there's no pt in doing that.even if i try to deny anytg,he wld still wanna prove that he is right.so fine.so damn pissed off.
pissed off wif everybody.wif myself.
nvm,im feeling pretty cool now.i mean calmed down.so dun infuriate me anymore.haha. =)

sweden's gonna win.heEe ;)

yoYO!haha.trng today ended at 7pm.dunno why.tink got guys game or whatever.anw,we did a few diff exercises today.other than the 6 rds,the rest were new stuff.courtesy of coach jamal.heE.got dribbling around many cones.all of us in a small space trying to kick others' ball away.shooting.volleying.
my shooting improved a little.heE.cld lift the ball this time.a couple of times.n it went in.lol.the best thing was,ok not the best but the encouraging thing was,the keeper was tatu.she damn tall know,n alwaz catches all the high looping balls.make us damn frustrated.so quite relieved today.used my old umbro boots.dunno if that had any influence but......haha.gotta try harder though.can't rest on my laurels just like that.heEE..
smtg farnie.just when i finished off wif the part 2 of Track and Field:Javelin Throw Story, part 3 started! lol.but shant elaborate now.wait till it gets more interesting.hoHOhO. =P
i realise that nowadays during trngs,Nor n Az get heated up very easily.i mean they wld be frustrated wif the other players if let's say we did a poor pass or din pass quickly or whatever mistake.az wld scold that person directly.nor wld show her attitude.all these really irks me.it shdn't be happening.its like breaking up.......everything.....u noe what i mean..to me,its not right to pick someone out n scold that person.n i mean scold.abt attitude.everybody has an attitude.but on the field,its the team.not the individual.showing ur attitude wld have a negative effect on the whole team.n i hate it.hate seeing such attitude players.dunno what caused this change.haiZ.
tmr got friendly.dunno against who oso.let's hope everything goes well. =)
no shouting or finger pointing pls.

aye.another disappointing day.maybe that's what a team game is all about.it's all about the team,not the individual.i guess its till 2006, England.so heart wrecking.the sec i saw postiga's equalising goal,it was like a stab in the heart.not the long endearing type of pain but a short n fast stab.den rui costa.brillant goal.bt that at pt of time,i din tink that england wld be booted off like that.N fortunately,lampard.like a rollercoaster ride eh.that's why football is so damn exciting.it can be more exciting if it was golden goal after 90 mins.has been years since i watched a live match as nail bitting as this. *couGh cOUgh* trying to use diff adjectives to describe my feelings.lol. =P
oh well.penalties isn't the best way to decide the winner dun u tink so?? n also becuz someone has to take all the blame.unless u r as lucky as beckham to have another scapegoat in rui costa.hah.
ok,part 2 of the Track n Field: Javelin Throw Story. it has been very quiet between both hses these days.our 3rd neighbour,an English man and his family(chinese wife,maid,2 little bois) isn't in singapore.i guess they went back to england....or portugal! haha.ok,the point is,erm,there is a turning point!the police called up my dad a few days ago saying that they want him to give a statement regarding the incident cuz they wanna sue them.lalalala...after thinking about it for a while,mum n dad decided to drop the matter n not pursue it cuz they were like saying,neighbours,better not strain relations n they were afraid for our safety.u know what mentally unstable pple can do rit.yeah,cuz the crazi woman,who is the javelin thrower's mother,kept ranting about how she wanna commit suicide since her life has no meaning and that she wants US to join her.haha.i can laugh safely at that.hehe.some pple,they just say say n wun do deh lar.n she is the kind.she even said we did not have $$ to sue them.haha.all these were said b4 the police called my dad so i guess she was informed too,n since that day,everything was quiet.so my dad called the police saying that he wants to drop the matter.then the police called back wanting an official statement from my dad as the police themselves want to sue them.not the first time smtg was thrown down by that powderful athlete that's why they can't just drop it.so now..conflict.in my family.my grandparents were chipping in too.this that whatever.N my mum is not happy that my dad called the police in the first place n caused us all this trouble.tsk tsk.as for me,i choose to stay silent.but in my heart,i know very well who is right.my dad or mum.just a show of hands,who thinks my dad was right in calling the police?? haha.i think my dad was right.there are many more things my mum said which i totally disagreed wif bt i shan't elaborate too much on that.cuz i dun want strangers who blog hop to know so much.hahaha. =P bt that's the whole story.till now.is this all abt EQ?? dealing wif pple of diff mentality?? of diff level of stability??? *chEEkY* haha..n thru this incident,i finally saw,or in chn,kan3 tou3,some things which can't be seen on the surface.erm,quite hard to explain.in a psychological sense.yeah,u observe one's behaviour,deduce what that person is thinking at the same time n whether it is in accordance wif the behaviour or totally opposite.very fun! haha.out of this so called misery.sadly,its a cross examination within the family by me.heeEE..dun leak it out.haha.ok,shall see how the story develops.part 3 on the way! haha,if ya interested.
dad took leave today.he said cuz of portugal england game.haha.maybe.so....hope we get to go out today! heEE..rejected my uncle's offer to bet on this morn's game.he said he wanted a 1 goal advantage to portugal.i said no.he said 1/2 goal.i said no.haha.wheW.luckily i was smart.i am still smart ok.haha.told him that if i won the potential bet,i wanted a $69 adidas shoey.den he was gg to say ok when i suddenly said NO,cuz i know england can't win by more than a goal.so....no deal.haha.is there gonna be a miracle tmr morn?? we shall see....................

wah lau!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn it!!!!!!!!!!i just can't get the ball up!!!!!!!!!!!!! so damn frustrated wif myself. *isH* grRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrr...........
i will start working on it on friday i tell you.need a punchbag right now.huMPH.
i really dun want to let the team or the coaches down cuz they know what i am capable of and what i am not.so when they put me to play i wanna make sure i play my best n play what i know n they know i can play.but THIS!!!! i cannot tolerate THIS!! need to start from scratch again.is it so difficult???????!!!!!????? i dun believe it.hUMph.
at trng just now,heard a phrase from cynthia which i had always kept close to my heart.
"if you wanna do something,make sure you do your best,otherwise,don't even bother."
its so true isn't it.N it makes perfect sense.dun shortchange urself.
got a knock on my right ankle at trng.just b4 it ended in a 2 side game.felt pretty touched that mao actually asked what happened to me cuz i din do the shuttle run n she offered to get ice for me.number 25 n tatu also helped me out wif the sock n ice(lol..) n yar,it just felt great.not my ankle but me.thx guys.heEe. =)
regina came today.heard that she came to quit eb.den after toking to berd,she got a jersey n joined us.so i guess she's not quitting eb in the near future lar har.haha.regina regina....can't make up her mind.her fren fishy came too.so cute name rit.bet she's a bballer too.aye.
today's trng quite fun.we did basics.a bit of shooting.that's where i got so damn frustrated wif myself i felt like just throwing my boots away.den 2 side.
got nth more to add.my life is so dull.eat,slp,train.everyday.ok,almost every weekday.can't wait for sch to start.i miss sch.

yoYoyo! finally got the song gg! yupyup,can u hear it?? haha.happi seh.cuz the buffering was quite fast n.....its a great song!erm,sorri for those who do nt understand chn.but do listen to the melody,n try to feel the erm,feelings the song is trying to express.kk.haha.music is universal!!
anw,went shppg today.bought 2 pieces of clothes.1 from adi n the other from gio.quite like both.of cuz lar,whatever i choose i sure damn like.cuz i chose it.hEe.no matter what or who it is that i chose. =P still got quite a long list of things to buy.hEeeE.erm,but i shall leave some of them for my mum's expenses.lol.hey,im still not financially independent k.semi-independent only.haha.but not for long....i mean not for long b4 i become totally dependent again! haha.yupyup,sch starting 12 july.orientation on 9,10 july.that is if from now till 9th july nth goes wrong. *crosSes fingerS* i just hope that this is the right path for me. =I
the past 2 days were less noisy.less crap coming from the neighbouring hse.i guess she finally settled down a little.or maybe she overdid it the first few days.haha. *eViL* actually what happened was quite a long story but to cut it short,erm,my neighbour has a daughter who is mentally unstable and one fine day a few days ago,she threw a metal item down 5 storeys n nearly hit my dad n an elderly couple.it was a bamboo stand.u noe,those type that u use in pairs to support bamboos used to hang ur wet clothes.yar.so my dad called the police.din arrest her.but of cuz her mother knew it and being herself,she went ard telling pple n blaming US for her misfortunes.for e.g.,her husband got retrenched,her mum died exactly 100 days ago,her son who is in army is getting tortured n how her life is such a struggle.kao! she ought to thank god that her daughter din kill anyone wif that one javelin throw.aye.dun wanna brood abt that.no fear.
league starting next sunday.soOOOooo fast.haiZ.like v sianz.haha.shHHHHhhhh....no leaking this out.but really,i dun feel excited or whatever.nvm.

i need some excitement in my life!!!!

singapore is getting too hot.look! 

sad.spain is out of euro 04.aye.dunno y but i was hoping that spain wld win this thing n that raul wld score.its just this funni feeling in me for spain.n for raul.he really looks worn out everytime i see him.no longer the prolific striker anymore.its sad to see such a thing happen to any footballer.haiZ
today's trng ended LOUDLY.hah.i mean we had a lecture at the end of trng by...whoelse... =P cuz some of us complained that the fitness was too tough n din want to do anymore.so berd just threw the cones down n walked off.aye.the shuttle run was really breath-demanding.4 cones! 1 up from the usual 3.wah,i tell you,at the end of 1 set i was really breathing heavily.nv felt like that b4.kept gasping for air.by the end of 2 sets,almost everyone was sitting or lying on the grd.then some of us did the 3rd set,(me loh),while others did not cuz by that time,berd had shown his temper.den got long long talk.wah,really have no patience to listen to his long reasoning.although they do make sense but he keeps repeating the same old thing.
had roast duck rice for lunch.real nice.ok lar,quite nice.beijing crispy skin duck.lol.n we bought 1 whole duck + char siew + roast meat for ah gong.was father's day mah.n he loves such oily stuff.haha.erm,these are for monday's know.cuz my comp suddenly got sasserworm so counting down to shut down that's y i dun post this yesterday.
gg shopping again today!haha.well,it doesn't mean that everytime i go shopping i do buy smtg u noe.hmMm..need to think a little bit b4 i buy anything.haha.

how shd i start? i think i lost my skill.or maybe its my boot.no.its me.i think i am gg bonkers.no,things in my mind are swimming too much.so much that i lost smtg.i find it difficult to get my foot under the ball n cross it properly.like yesterday.need to get it back! desperate! jill sold me a new pair of adidas boots for $70.haven't paid her thou.from holland.60 euro.but its the first time i spend so much on a pair of boots.hope it comes to good n long lasting use.heE.after trng yesterday practically the whole team went to Macs.although we went in 4 separate grps.that shows smtg isn't it? ;) me,angeline n elmo,then the new gals,then meli's grp of frens,then az,nurul,tatu n a few others.had 2 waffle cones! nurul loh,insist that i have a second one to compete wif her.hah.of cuz i finished mine first.lol.these past few days,my gone-mad neighbour has been screaming n blasting her horrible voice outside my hse's kitchen window,trying to make some points heard by the whole neighbourhood,esp us.its a long story n quite frightful but i heck care.i just wish she wld be gone asap.12 midnite i rem,though it din last long.but for some time.her life's in a terrible mess n she's so helpless.
game today.things are getting serious.N competitive.although it may be hardly felt but it is there.i hate double-headed snakes.pray hard that i can play properly today.soles still ache now n then.N all of a sudden,my knee.nvm,it's gonna be a great day. *cLenchEd fiSt*

finally did it this morn.saw the new building.quite empty still but the air-con was great. =P have to walk quite a distance frm bugis junction cuz no direct bus from my hse.along the way to submit my application,i was still pondering over whether to take this great step in pursing smtg so new to me.i still had doubts really.i even tried to imagine what it wld be like if i were to have a future in business n tried to make that image as rosy as possible.haha.but i couldn't.then i tried the other image of me and it wasn't perfect but acceptable.coincidentally, i received an email from SMU just a moment ago.i was rejected! guess that really makes my decision right and am really relieved that i finally submitted my stuff.can't imagine what it wld be like if i were to back out last min and then find that i dun have a sch to go to in the end.lol.so,this is the end of my so-called struggle wif making decisions and the start of a brand new chapter in my life! hope its gonna start off well and continue to be well.heE.
i think it was yesterday that i coincidentally heard a song which brought back memories from China.fan wei qi's na4 xie1 hua1 er2.i remember vividly that it was on the coach to the stadium for our first game against Chinese Taipei that the driver blasted this song for the whole journey.i rem i was feeling really nervous at that time.from the moment i got onto the bus till the start of the game.but esp on the way to the stad.i guess this song really did made me relax a little cuz the melody is so soothing.nothing heavy or metal.N i just closed my eyes,leaned back n listen till we reached the stadium.i shall never forget this song. =I maybe try to put this onto my blog.heE.
i guess this is all for today.for this morn in fact.haha.trng later.n its friday.looking forward to it! dunno why. =)

oh well,wanna blog about yesterday.was wednesday rit.trng.6 rounds wif the ball! nvm.pple came late.slowly trickle in.do bo liao shooting at gwen for dunno how long.everyone slowly take turns.i got bored.so i joined coach jamal who was teaching the new gals how to kick high ball n sorts.was wif that grp for a while only when berd came over and ask me to get out of there.wth.so i joined the few others who were trying out crosses n heading.dun see anything wrong wif me joining coach jamal's grp.meli n jill came so late.still have to wait for them to finish their discounted rounds b4 we start 2 side.the 2 side is the only enjoyable session i had for the day.cuz we won 4-3! not serious stuff but i think nurul got a hat-trick n the last one from pam.quite happi wif our performance.heE.still got! fitness.we had to do those cone exercises n shuttle runs b4 trng officially ends.i tell you,during these exercises after trng is much better than we usually do b4 trng.cuz now,we have to compete wif one another.n its so damn true,competition really makes u push urself further,more,more than u usually wld.tiring but enjoyable.final item: piggyback. cuz we made too much fuss abt the whole thing,we were punished.*roLLs eyEs* had to carry the other up and down half the field.siao rit.2 sets.but later did 1 only."discount" =P
i partnered wif gwen seh.she 54kg leh.wah piang.but luckily i cld complete.my calfs were aching and now,my waist.n dunno why oso,my left quads.like got stung by smtg.but its the muscule really.lol.
made my mind up oredi.im not gonna wait for SMU reply.want to go down and get everything settled today,by this morning,but no,can't.haven't told dad.fine.so damn free today n i can't do it.where's the freedom of "movement"!!!!lol.but i will get it done.
heard that shiya is trng wif u23.hah.they dun have enuf pple now.eb meeting them on 2nd game.5 teams in the league only.womens' premier league they call it.and another one is girls' league or sorts.ITE playing in the girls' league! *scRatches heaD*
got a new team from CHina joining this league.but who cares.hah.i wanna get things done now!! once and for all.

i wonder if you ever smile when u read ur msgs on ur hp.not msgs from everyone but specifically someone special.its such a nice n special feeling isn't it.ok,what im trying to say is that i haven't had that feeling for quite a long time.dun count those times when i look ridiculously at the screen of my hp becuz of some ridiculous msgs sent by ridiculous pple! lol.actually i was just thinking of the past la.hmMmm..its gonna be friday soon.dateline.i have sort of decided oredi.i just need to open my mouth n tell my parents.the difficult part is finding the right time n having the courage to tell them.i alwaz struggle wif the latter u noe.i heard the door.haha.mum lar.dun worri dorc,u will blurt it all out when u feel desperate enuf.hah.i dun feel very comfortable blogging when my family is ard.just dun want them to see that i am typing away furiously.n esp when they just walk past behind me,in front of the screen.
got trng today.i hope its gonna be fun.n useful in burning calories.lol.maybe thurs get a treat at Sakae.wif me cousins!lol.
but if im gonna do it,i will go down on thurs.to go down on friday is so risky.no risks pls.
took my driving test date.18.10.like so fast! 4 more months=16 lessons.omgoodness.n like i haven't learn much.sianz.just realised its 4 more months exactly on friday.haha.what am i getting at..
n a week exactly b4 my bday! =) no,im not looking forward to it.its good to stay young.i wanna stay young!!!!
yesterday got cut off on HBO while i was watching a time travel movie! damn it.its was getting so interesting.i dun noe what's the title of that movie,time machine,maybe.but cuz i din subscribe to HBO so.....ahHHHh....i really like time travel movies.only if they look real n practical enuf for me to believe.haha.
N yar,im getting on wif more crime stories! sherlock holmes n a new bk i borrowed yesterday,by richard smtg.cuz the book looked damn new n its was sort of like a puffin classic so i tot,hmmm,just try lar har..
N yesterday,i din watch any live matches.AGAIN.my hunger(or thirst?? =P) for sleep is just too great.tonite got 2 great matches.can't afford to sleep for even an hour otherwise i wun wake up.i wanna shout when spain scores!! loud!! esp if Raul scores.his form seemed to have dropped,i think.but nvm.that's his problem.as long as he scores tonite! =P

heyhey! me driving lesson juz now was pretty not bad yeah..lol.haha.quite happi leh.cuz the car din go dead.except twice when it wasn't too impt lar.hmMm..so got improvement!haha..OLE!

my AFC jersey.2nd choice de. 

i.o.hmm.seems like quite some time since i blogged huh.ahaha.nvm.i just dun wanna tok abt the tourney yesterday.just came back from trng.few few pple only.cuz yesterday damn hot n tired so i guess............although msg said "attendance compulsory".i guess berd was expecting attendance to be like that.ahah.i can read his mind uhuh..lol..anw,we still had to run wif the ball.5 rounds.we did 4.ahaha.shHHHhhh..then all the pre-trng fitness exercises.den possession play.aye! i have nth to blog lar,that's why trying to elaborate on what we did at trng.haha.*siCkO*
NSSL on 25th july! so we got break from st soccer trngs till.......good,3x a week trng now.good in a way cuz mum wun nag so much n i wldn't have to feel so guilty everything i tell grandma not to prepare dinner for me.i know she feels quite disappointed everytime i tell her that i am not gg for dinner cuz she wld know that i have trng.n she doesn't really see the point in me gg for trng 4x a week.haiz.but i just hope my fitness wldn't deteriorate so much lar har.
france won seh.aye.can't say much.i din play what. =P
hmm..din watch any live matches so far noe.taped the 2 matches on the first day n this morn,cldn't get out of bed although i heard the alarm.i was awoke for a while n kept fussing over whether to watch the match or not."france vs england" and "sleep" kept ringing in my head.in the end..ahaha...i need to slp leh..but not tonite! wanna watch italy den sweden.sure hope i keep to my promise.haha.luckily no trng tmr.gosh.
told mum abt NAFA this morn.haiz.i know exactly what she is thinking.really.everything.she wants me to study in a local U.she wants me to study in SMU.she wants me to study in a U.the word "diploma" just puts her off.although the 4th year has to be spent in UK for the bac hons degree.but i can just imagine my 4 years in SMU u noe,that is if i get in.business.projects on business.internships wif big corporations.dealing wif pple.business.it's just so hard for me.it's not me.but what she said really discourages me to accept NAFA.whatever.need to reply to NAFA by this friday. *heaDacHE*
somebody help me.................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no dorcas,only u can help urself.ok, i know that ok.
quite hungry.din have proper dinner.in fact i dun take proper dinner after trngs.just bread.hah.sianz lar.
life choices are so impt.so impt that u can't afford to make the wrong one.
i think the person who came up wif the NIke phrase is so damn cool.
OLE.PLEASED TO BEAT YOU =p

wif awin n ai en.on the way to shanghai 

im damn excited now k.gonna meet old frens tonite!!ahaha.bbq cancelled so we gg to seoul garden.they said city hall but according to what i know,dun rem any seoul garden ard there.i know very little abt town ok.haha.dun laugh.
today got lots of free time =) its like so relaxed n i quite like it.make me look forward to it last nite.im not a slacker k.but its like no trng,no nothing n what else.lol.like nothing on my schedule lar.haha.maybe its cuz i feel relieved after getting over that SMU interview.i felt quite relieved after that.like i am got over and done wif something that has been weighing on my mind.hEeeE.so...i feel so light-hearted now!!
this morn spent the whole time watching HBO.free channel till this evening only.vanilla sky.nice seh.a very puzzling movie cuz i din really noe what was happening.but that's the kind of movie i like!! sadly,very few movies today are like that.or is it that i do not know of?? haha.but really nice.something like the sixth sense.ok lar,dun wanna elaborate too much.haha.
hmMm..later gotta go visit my grandma at dunno which hospital.went for cataract operation yesterday.one eye only.so got another eye loh.sigh.somehow i do feel closer to her than b4.not cuz of this operation or what,but maybe it was the wedding.n our more frequent meetings.although i hardly speak a lot to her.at most i help her carry her marketing stuff.me closer to my dad's mum.cuz we stay just across the road.hmMmm..i wonder if all ageing pple will encounter eye probs.esp if you spend at least an hr a day in front of the comp! blogging,checking mail,chatting,what else.....haha.well,its a new generation of defects on the way..........................i bet,this younger generation,including us,would definitely encounter more health probs than the previous generation.haha.i do hope i am wrong.
but its quite scary if you know that your eyesight is slowly getting worse each day isn't it.like,u can't see as clearly,then u can't see clearly,then u can't see,then u can't see at all.
anw,me still young.not gonna bother myself abt such things lar rit..haha..leave those for later! lol.

now i know.dun trust anyone so easily.actually i knew this all along at the back of my head but just din constantly remind myself.so today,i got reminded.hah.nvm,i have learnt my lesson.even though someone may be nice to you for a period of time,at a split second,all of that can change.humpH.
anw,went for interview today.SMU.not as bad as i thought.me last minute wanna U-turn but haiz,just go lar.30 min essay + group interview.it was a discussion in fact.SMU classroom style.so got to know what its like to have tutorials at SMU.we discussed about "scholars=good entrepreneurs?" so all of us have to tok.luckily i had something to say.den QnA session.COMPULSORY to ask qns,otherwise no plus points for urself.humph.i din say i wanna study in SMU anw what.lol.i just went to try try only.why did i even apply SMU in the first place?? parents loh.but ultimately,i want the decision to be my decision.its my life.its such a big thing that i really need to think carefully.i need time to think.i havent been thinking much abt this since i returned from China.but today,i really thought hard abt what i really wanna study.it is gonna affect my whole life.n i thought really really hard.i called up NAFA.they said my application is confirmed.gonna get THE LETTER soon.maybe tmr.anw,doesn't mean that i got into SMU what.i really heck care what others are gonna say or think abt me rejecting NUS n SMU.they must be thinking im damn stupid,dumb,an idiot.i can really imagine n do think about what others wld say but that's just a passing thing.its me ultimately.my life.my decision.n it had better be good.its not like u will lose face if you do not get into U.but that's society.
today's trng was like omgoodness.so many pple.so little space.n i tell u,i was like so lost.unfamiliar wif playing 5 a side.feel lost today can.but cannot feel lost on sunday! damn it.its tournament day.n i wanna win.haha.n i was misfiring.everywhere! so frustrated wif myself.sicKo.oh well,as long as i do not misfire on sunday.huMph.
tired.hopefully the outing tmr would be a real outing.not like 2 or 3 of us.sianz.n i dun even noe the exact time n venue.see lar,weichern,ronggui,poor organisers!!! haha.they wun be seeing this anw.gotta buck up u guys!! atTentiON!!!! at your feets!!!!!.........up!!!! =P

listen to jolin's ning2 mong2 cao3 de4 wei4 dao4.very nice.if you listen a few times continuously.got cable installed today.dun wanna fight wif my bro over who gets the remote but i warned him,euro match times are mine! ahaha.i tell u,i am feeling very sick in the head now.the interview.i dread it.n its tmr.i can't not go can i?? tsk.*suLK*
i wanna stop thinking about ***.STOP.can't stand myself anymore.
i do quite dread driving lessons too.maybe its the instructor.maybe its me.but i wanna get my license n i wanna drive.
class outing this sat! junwei called me.from tekong again.i think thrice oredi.weichen n rong gui organising a bbq at east coast.oh well,for the sake of meeting my old mates i shall go down.but bbq is unhealthy.shall eat the minimal.ahaha. *evIL lauGH* this day has finally come.has been like how long since we had a gathering.shall see many cap-heads on that day.ahaha.kind of like to rub bald heads.lol.so cute.
wanna go down to that adidas store near Shaw Hse.i actually din know there existed such a large adidas store there till i remembered walking past it once after trng.oh well,that's how well i know orchard rd.ahaha.now sale rit.check my account first.heE.
i hate nights.i hate the feeling in me when its at night.maybe i shd go for trng everyday,every night n keep myself bz so that my mind doesn't wander too much.im so damn free now that im blogging.
met those u19 gals yesterday.traffic jam.missed eb trng.s*****.i hate to miss trngs(nowadays).hah.awin uploaded all the photos onto her blog.so easy for me lar.ahah.now that u23 is formed,gonna meet them in the league.hope i get to play of cuz.hah.i feel like spiting someone now.i feel evil now.lol.nononono,im an angel forever.*diAo*
see,im talking crap.
i dun wanna go for interview.dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan dun wan.
i feel hopeless.oh no,i can't say that.i need to control my emotions!!! it's getting over my head.hah.hate it hate it.can't wait for trng tmr.i dun wanna be late!!!! not becuz of that stupid interview.gotta write 30 min essay too.wth.wth does SMU think it is.Harvard??hah.shitty.i wanna kick.i wanna whack the ball.i hate to lose.i hate to lose.i hate to lose.
humPh.got my first assignment for this month.so start getting extra income.haha.what is money?? money=paper.nono.money=valuable paper.nono.money=incense paper.haha.money is not everything.that's what i know.

eyo.was on the bus just now after st soccer n saw this show on TV mobile."missing" was the title.it was about 1 gal who went missing,was abducted i tink.i din get to finish watching the whole show but from what i saw,it set me thinking.cuz the gal was a very quiet gal who spoke little to her parents.din tell them much abt where she went,who her frens were n everything else.n 1 day,she told her mum that she was going for a job interview,but din say what job it was n where it was.from that moment she walked out of the hse,she din return.
everytime when my mum or dad ask me before i leave the hse where i am going,with who,what time i will be back,i will always answer wif a frustrated tone.irritated by their continuous probing.n u can hear it from my voice(not my expression thou).i felt quite guilty after watching that show n realised that it wasn't a big deal after all to just inform my parents where i wld be going,with who(if they ask) n whatever else.i shd change my attitude uhuh.its not that i was afraid that someday i wld get abducted or what but its just my realising that my attitude aren't right in the first place.hmmMMm...yar,so next time anyone ask abt me,i wld try to really be nice n tell them calmly.haha.i will try ok.u be my witness!! lol.haiz.its just these teeny weeny things that often strike me upon another more impt realisation.that's gd! =)
today's trng had so many pple that i only played 3 games.luckily nor was nice enuf to help me borrow an ankle guard for me.from tatu.haha.din expect her to be so nice.heEE..yar,my right ankle very unstable.so just use guard lar..haha..az was nice enuf to ask abt my ankle.cuz that sat i tried to block her shot n my ankle gave way.din expect that from her.so nice right,eb pple..haha..first time i team up wif meli n kaka.feel a bit out of farnie.i always feel quite don-know-what-to-do when i play wif meli.dunno y oso.hah.but luckily today wasn't too bad.was supposed to play center but kept drifting to the side.guess that's just..erm...me?? haha..no..i can play center ok..cuz kaka used to playing right so....hmmMm..nvm..din count whether we won or lost but quite ok i guess.there was one match where az's team vs meli's team.both az n meli were so physical wif each other that the atmosphere seemed so tense.not the first time between them liao.but az is competitive.that's gd.nth wrong wif that.better than playing slack football.i guess there really exist some dislike among players although you can't see it from the surface.it's when things happen that you finally see it.but as long as we play as a team together on the field,everything's fine!
dun wanna slp thou its quite late liao.nights are always so lonely(if you dun have a significant other).haha.
*sweEt dreAmS*

P.S. i dropped taekwondo. =P

that's my praying mantis bro.at the wedding. 

heyhey! feeling pretty good now. =) just came back from eb trng.not bad.we did lots of shooting den 2 side.n we did stretching at the end of it! that's amazing! haha.angeline rushed home to catch Harry Potter.lol.erm,this week seems pretty busy seh.everyday gotta go out to do something.oh well,actually i do go out almost everyday for trng uhuh.haha.but yar,n i tell u,the wedding on sunday was so extraordinary! for me at least.there were only like 20 tables in Novotel Apollo Hotel that nite.the service wasn't 10/10.but what's so diff is that some sort of indian music was played while we waited for the thingy to start.sort of pakistani mixed with indian,i duno wth is that,but also a little bit egyptian.haha. *eEriE* den the food tasted quite diff cuz have to cater to those non-chinese guests.there was no wine.so no drunken guests.but we had a rather uneasy YUM SENG sort of shout.everyone was like so out of breath n finally it ended really pathetically.haha.i din even open my mouth.lol.but there were genuine smiles that day.the stage had a sort of malay type tent which was quite nice.but the bride n groom were so unfamiliar wif what to do next that they just stood there smiling n waving to the guests.the hotel pple had to like tell them the next move.lol.n yar,i din get to tok to yan3 zi4.he sat at the VIP table lar.n sat at table 10! lol.kk,enuf seh.not my wedding oso.lol.so......tmr's trng at TGCC.cool.its has been ages since i went for st soccer trng during the evening.almost at nite really.wif the street lamps on n the cool breeze blowing.romantic-a.den wed get to see those u19 gals for the first time since we parted at the airport.so gotta miss eb trng.but i guess its ok lar..haha..wanna take some pics n get some pics! haha.i sure hope its a happy sort of gathering..thou the u23 has trng that day.miss them. =I
i realised that for the past few days,i have been eating too much sweet stuff.chendol from the wedding,ice cream for continuously 3 days i tink,chocolate blah blah...better stop seh..otherwise get diabetes.serious.im quite afraid.
im still waiting for that b***** letter!!!!! *ofFenDed*

nicer pic of me lar..in my opinion. 

Went for buffet at Dua3 Kim3's hse just now before the wedding ceremony tonight.when we reached there, there were only like Ah Ma, Dua3 Yi2 and Sa1 Yi2's family.It was quite a somber mood.Like no sense of excitement at all,despite the decorations.the guy is 39 and sis colleen 27.he is a Khan sia.i could see as i sat observing the few pple present, that Ah Ma wasn't exactly upbeat.Dua3 Gu3 was okok but not an excited father.and Dua3 Kim3 was trying her best to arrange everything n to make us at home.when the bride n groom came, it was all smile suddenly.dua3 gu3 n dua3 kim3 were genuinely smiling and then more pple from dua3 kim3's side came.we had the tea ceremony which wasn't very organised cuz mum n dua3 kim3 took turns to be the tea lady, which wasn't the right thing to do. and there was that idiotic photographer who kept interfering with the ceremony, stalling it n stuff. *bisH* yan3 zi4 was a totally diff person altogether. truly grown-up, muscular and his looks changed a lot.unlike the boy i knew when we went to Aus together duno how many yrs back.haha.i really wish to talk to him.maybe he could teach me some sports or, you know, you do get to learn things when you tok to pple n moreover this is my cousin! i ought to develop closer relationships with my relatives, esp my cousins. so i hope tonite we have the chance to chat lar.although you know i dun really take the initiative even if i really wanna tok..heEe..Ah Quan2 wasn't present.still in melbourne.architecture course. ;)
Colleen sis hasn't changed a lot really.still kids ard with us today.haha.and she remembers "dorcas" although not the face.lol.but i do hope that she did not make the wrong decision.i can imagine how her parents feel.how ah ma felt.older man of another race.registered marriage without parents consent.shotgun(ooPs)..anw, i was thinking, will this ever happen to me?? lol.not the latter part thuogh.never tot of having children really..not at this age..hahaha..but,love.u just never know.so sucky rit...haha..enuf of that..still waiting for that letter!!!!! comeon mr postman..stop being lazi lar...dun keep ME waiting..!!!

my fren all the way from Shanghai.took the same plane as i did. 

my luggage 

good morning! =D
can see that i am in a pretty good mood huh..hah.cuz its saturday!
later got st soccer trng..hopefully the floor has dried up by then.i wouldn't want to do the job of sweeping away those leaves n drying the floor.lol.that was what they did on tuesday after the rain.haha.i din go! ok,havent had my breakfast cuz i woke up late n so got da3 bao1! heE.what "nice parents" i have.. ;)
cher hao msged me last nite n the nite b4.quite cool chatting wif me.he just msges me out of the blue,although we promised to stay in touch lar.haha.den last nite he msged me at 12.46am,erm,which is this morn.he was on guard duty mah.so i guess he was so damn free.but i slpt liao.lol.so i guess he shd be slping now..haha..he's gonna be a field spy!! that's so cool isnt it..wahhh..how i wish i get the chance to experience that too..hahahaha..look who's talking..lol..but it sounds cool n IS cool..! he said the field spy is the first person to start the attack,to infiltrate the enemy's camp n using high tech equip,obtain info on the enemy blah blah blah..really cool rit..ok,i know its a guy's job...budden...feminism!! haha..
hmmm...so i guess i have gotten over that short period of depression n now, i am rejuvenated!! that's a happi thing u noe..hEe..be glad for me! =D
tmr gotta attend a wedding..tok abt that later..gotta have my breaky now..hEeeE
ta~ta

yay! finally figured out how to work HELLO! haha..although its not cuz of my stupidity but cuz HELLO couldn't figure me out..haha..this pic was taken on the nite i flew to China..nice to be at the airport ard midnight..cool time..cool Picasa! =D

23rd May 2004 

i am going to take total control of my life from this moment onwards.i am not going to let emotions rule my head.n u r not gonna see me blogging about how depressed i feel, how aimless my life is.no more. the more i say these negative stuff, the more i feel that way.the past is past.nothing can change it.
i am gonna start a brand new life from this moment onwards.

i still cant rem at my fingertips what day or date is today.haha.my mind still floating ard between china n sg.lol.anw,today was a hectic day for me manz.cuz public hols so went out in the morn wif family for breakfast,went to orchard n den for lunch.den i last minute decided to go for the game at braddell,which i arrived late n so my warm-up was like not proper.n idiotically, i was put to play in the 1st half when i told berd that i wld be late so pls put me in 2nd half. n as expected i played rubbish football.serious.i was so pissed off wif myself cuz i got 2 scoring chances n my leg just wouldn't swing n had zero power.i couldn't believe what i was doing n i screamed at myself.haha.but really,i was so angry.n i dun noe why but i felt so unfamiliar when i had the pre-game ball exercises.like when i stopped n passed the ball,crossed n everything..wah piang,like it has been a century since i did that...but somehow that's true..the past week's trng in china was so damn slack..trngs were 1 1/2 hrs per day n the things we did were like so minimal..i did not have the chance to practise shooting or crossing at all..unlike senior team trngs overseas, as farah told me..ok,i know the problem is wif me but still i feel that after this trip, i like know lesser and lesser abt football..really..like i lost something...maybe we enjoyed ourselves too much in china..but now i am like so panicky at what's happening to me and at the same time so burned out that i really dun noe what to do next..haiz..the thought of quitting soccer n seriously learning another new sport even came to my mind...i just dun want n hate to perform below what i know i can do! its so despairing(?) n so sickening..u will feel damn damn damn lousy..after game,went for 2 waffle cones wif nurul..lol..couldn't help it...but i promise from tmr onwards, no such stuff anymore..haiz...can i stop sighing..maybe this is just a transition period for me..sometimes i dun noe whether to give myself a break or to get on wif what i used to do cuz i shdn't break the momentum for too long rit...cuz if u do,the momentum may be gone forever..n the first step is always the most difficult n most disappointing...its like warming up lar...so i guess today's poor performance was a warm up to better performances...haha..how i wish today was saturday..suddenly felt like going to church..lol...anw, me got cable tv liao! haha..subscribed liao...today at starhub...happi! cuz can watch live matches liao..euro 2004!! rawk on!! haha..luckily tmr is rest day...haiz...aye,see, i forgot what i wanna say liao..hmmm...oh yar,i just found out myself about myself...something which is new n which is i think, my character...erm,i realised that if someone whom i have no particular interest in suddenly shows signs of having particular interest in me (understand what i am saying rit..) den i will sort of have like fear in me..u noe...like i will feel a bit afraid n i will try to minimise my contact wif this person...yar lah..that was what i found out when i was in china..dun ask me too much ok..haha..so,its a new finding!!! =P
nth much liao..i feel like slping again..yesterday i slpt before lunch,after lunch n went to bed ard 9pm..lol..wonder what time i get to count sheeps tonite..haha..

hmm..i feel pretty free n damn free now.haha.got st soccer trng today but i tot shd give myself a break today.start tmr! actually got nth much to blog only that erm,actually nth at all.haha. *bONks* ok,just feeling pretty good now so tot visit my blog loh.
dun wanna lose contact with my u19 frens.althou i dun noe when we will meet again.
n i miss the hotel room.i shd be having my dinner at the hotel at this time now(7.15pm).
k loh.n yar,i passed my FTT!! haha.
kind of miss ***.how?

me back liao! just touched down this morn.bathed n unpacked! fast rit.haha.n listening to my fav song! 5566 Chun Zai.lol.aye.when we got our luggages this morn, some of us stayed or like sticked ard wif a few others.i just zao4 cuz i damn tired.wanna go home n bathe liao.it has been 24 hrs since i last bathed.haha.but now i feel damn clean can.lol.the flight back home was a 1am flight so the plane like occupied mainly by u19 players only.haha.so we took up as much space as we wanted n slpt.it was quite a good time althou i had to adjust n adjust to get the most comfortable position to slp.haha.for shopping bought quite a lot of stuff,but only a little for myself.a starbucks sort of diary like bk n starbucks shirt from wuxi.n the rest for pple n all.anw,the departing from the hotel was quite a happy scene althou its supposed to be sad u noe.everyone like taking pics esp wif other team players n many pple came to bid us farewell.haha.so big shot hor.lol.i think its really sad to have to leave friendships behind.friends u made for just a short time n most of them,unable to speak ur language.but den as jtrl said,its up to me to maintain the friendship.budden,aye,that's not the point really.i can't think properly now leh.erm,think get off the comp first.tired seh.haha.be back soon. =)