一路向北

后视镜里的世界越来越远的道别
你转身向背侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追竟听见你的泪
在车窗外面排徊是我错失的机会
你站的方位跟我中间隔著泪
街景一直在後退你的崩溃在窗外零碎
我一路向北离开有你的季节
你说你好累已无法再爱上谁
风在山路吹过往的画面全都是我不对
细数惭愧我伤你几回

後视镜里的世界越来越远的道别
你转身向背侧脸还是很美
我用眼光去追竟听见你的泪

在车窗外面排徊是我错失的机会
你站的方位跟我中间隔著泪
街景一直在後退你的崩溃在窗外闼?br>
我一路向北离开有你的季节
你说你好累已无法再爱上谁
风在山路吹过往的画面全都是我不对
细数惭愧我伤你几回

我一路向北离开有你的季节
方向盘周围回转著我的後悔
我加速超越却甩不掉紧紧跟随的伤悲
细数惭愧我伤你几回
停止狼狈就让错纯粹

This world is no longer fit for innocent children to live in.They would only become more like us the moment they start growing up.
This world is very corrupted. Values are no more.

I want to go to Mars.
erm.Pluto would do fine too.

This letter is a bit more difficult to write because it hits
close to home. Apparently 15 percent of the general population
are what psychologists now call "Highly Sensitive Persons," or
HSPs. Among creative types the percentage is much higher. In
part, it's the sensitivity that makes us creative. Carl Jung
suggested that we are just introverted, shy or depressed.
Recent research indicates that HSPs are genetically programmed
to be that way. Getting rid of the condition would be like
changing our eye colour. HSPs have valuable assets that have
traditionally been given a bum rap by the not-so-sensitive
majority. Highly sensitive persons often grow up feeling
they're outsiders. We are easily hurt, stressed, frazzled and
overwhelmed. The worst afflicted don't like loud noises,
crowds, ruckus or confrontation. We are known to shut doors on
others. On the positive side, we hear, see and feel more, and
have more empathy than regular folks. Often loners, we have
vivid dreams and keen imaginations.?

So what's the problem? The trouble is that we often live and
work with a sense that we are flawed. And what we do or create
tends also to be seen by us as flawed. Much of the obsessive
perfectionism in art comes from this source. Also, as HSPs, we
tend to withdraw into the processes of our work. Withdrawal
increases sensitivity. Psychologist Elaine Aron, a leading
authority on HSP, and an HSP herself, says: "We are
extra-sensitive when the time comes to show our work, perform
it, explain it, sell it, read reviews of it, and accept
rejection or acclaim." This is a central dilemma for many
artists: "How do I manifest my innate sensitivity in a
not-so-sensitive world?"

There are many ways. One of the handiest is the simple
realization that many we interact with are not so
sensitive--dealers and even collectors, for example. They may
not know or admit it, but they couldn't get along without our
sensitivity. They need us. And we need them. A sensitive person
needs to learn how to interact in this lop-sided world. Humour
and playfulness are valuable. So is immersing oneself in the
history of art and artists. The timeless brotherhood and
sisterhood of art (which includes other HSPs) gives us a sense
of community and a philosophic balance. The knowledge derived
from like-minded companionship gives a feeling of "I'm
okay--you're okay."?More than that, one finds that the world
needs more HSPs--these days, more than ever.


PS: "There is an aristocracy of the sensitive. They represent
the true human tradition of permanent victory over cruelty and
chaos." (E. M. Forster, "What I Believe")

funny expression 

hee.for tingfang! 

cute! 

scribbles 

gou gou 

yeah! 

It's friday!! haha. . .so happy cuz it's friday! which means it's friday!! which means. . .i have 2 more days before im free!!! lolxxxxxxxx......yeah,sunday is my last day at work.ahaha.dunno whether i would miss work or embrace the opportunity cost i have lost so far.HAH. yesterday was ok.sales weren't that good.nor bad.but sadly,when i returned home and saw a letter from sch, and opened it,and took out the 2 sheets of paper in it,and read the textured one,damn. haiz.results not good manz.dun wanna elaborate.but nvm.humph.i think im more angry than sad.but nvm.humph.anyway i was quite hot last night.and i kept saying bad words.ahahahaha....of course,under my breath.lolx....shhHhhhhh.....
i miss my organic lunches.haven't been there for more than a week! cuz of work loh.sigh.but next week,its a must everyday!!! argh.sometimes, its only when you are desperate that you realise you need to take action.
dun feel like gg trng today.haha.maybe cuz of the weather.sianz.
wanna watch initialD!!!!! cannot miss this one...jay chou is damn shuai!!!! =D
gina, if you are reading this, please read this.hahahaha...i love reading your blog! though most of the time its crap.but reading the blog is like walking beside you and hear you speak.with all your funny actions and whatever.it's so real life!!!!! hahaha...that's why i dun miss gina. hee.
and know why i never will ever tag on your blog??? becuz you wun get to read it.it is flooded everyday. i dun think you even read my first and last tag on your blog.hahaha.so you tag on mine ok stupid gina.heehee.
anw,your testi was sweet.heeheehee.
milo is really enjoying her M.I.A. nvm loh.sigh.
have to pay my drums fee tmr.SAD.cuz i dun think its worth the money at all.$105. i have been delaying payment since the 7th of this month.ahahah..cuz i dun wanna pay.i feel cheated.the facilities suck.but too bad,the teacher's the only factor that's making me stay.gotta make a jue2 ze2.humph.
i want my own laptop!! i want the Mac type.although i dun really know about what MacOS or what crap.haha..
hmmmm....im starting to like ou1 de2 yang2's songs....................

i dreamt of someone last nite. . .it was a weird combination of two different grps of people i know.and they congregated in a large restaurant. in fact, there were three grps of people i thought of.firstly,i received a msg! from ct.telling me that she liked the way angeline decorated the KFC stall and said to meet up soon. *roaring laughter* so we met up.at the huge restaurant.but angeline din go.dunno why. . . *huge laughter* it was a big but empty restaurant. i arrived there with my family and aunty beehua's! *very weird indeed* then i saw ct in a black long dress.the top was like a tube top.and the black dress was like flarred that kind.in fact she did look pretty good in it. hahaha. . .my family and aunty beehua's sat down on those kind of chairs with a long row of table that faces the wall.you know those kind where when there is not enough space so they build those kind of eat-and-face-the-wall type of setting...yeah. then ct and someone else sat behind us on those long chairs where you face each other. then. . . . . . .i dun rem what happened after that. HAHAHA. . .but the msg ct sent me was so real i really thought i received it on my hp. in fact i was quite certain that i did and made sure i was not dreaming. muahahah....
okay.it's gonna be day 5 at work.yesterday was the worst day.since friday.i sold only 1 box of watercolor pencils. . .HAHAHA...nvm..shall try harder today.... urGH..

eh-O! just came back from work.quite fun especially when interacting with the kids! real fun manz! haha...and today, i was rather relaxed cuz i allowed a kid to scribble on my paper and he loved it! and then another kid joined it and they went on for quite a while.so i could just look at their scribbles and do nothing else.hee.anw,im also trying to interpret what they are drawing mah.got 1 boy,damn cute!!! he's very shy.i think he will grow up to be very handsome.haha.when he smiles,even cuter than that gina cutie!! oh man.so far,sales not bad.although could be better.a few people actually had watercolor pencils but din noe how to use them.so they din buy from me but haiz,they finally knew how to use them.ahahahahah....
nth much manz.damn tired when i finish work.and hungry too.although most of the time i was just sitting there and drawing.berd said that my selling skills damn bad.but nvm.i do it my way can! ahahahahaha....
aye.
7 more days to go...

i feel nervous now thinking abt tmr.it's my first day at work.well,this can be quite sad cuz im already 19 and im here saying that.or, it can be pretty exciting too! but u noe,the more i think abt what may happen tmr, the more i want to not think anymore.haha.so i shant think too much!
the mind is very powerful.
for the past two nights, i have been a couch potato.yeah.the programmes seemed to interest me.especially You Fu! i think its quite touching.and it makes you think.that's what i like abt it.think abt life and stuff like that i mean. channel 8 9pm! and you can learn from him too.hee.
played squash today!! okay, for this part i shant be too detailed(so as to give elmo face).in one sentence, it was fun!!!!!! that is,if you really enjoyed it.hahaha.i wanna play again!hee.
sometimes i feel like a small kid.sometimes i feel that i take everything very seriously.hmmm...i remember someone said, eh, dorko,sometimes you are like a kid.sometimes you act so mature.eh,something like that...ahahahhaa...i wonder who it was..eh,ping?lolx...
but really, i think it better that way....??.... actually i dun really noe...but one thing that i am conscious of, is that i cannot and definitely dun allow myself to do childish stuff.ok.maybe its a thin line.ahaha.and speech,yeah,have to be mature speech lar! damn.last time, i think i was too serious.but in fact i enjoyed being serious in everything i do.maybe till the extent that not many pple dare to get close to me.well.den i realised that since i entered art sch,i relaxed a bit.hmmm...dunno leh..ahahaha...and also, the company i have.that influences me too.influenced.aye.what can ever be clearly defined?
hmm...so shd i end on a serious note?? or a lighter one?? ahahahhahaha....
go to sleep everyone. . .
the weather's gonna be good.

=D

so much feelings today.frustration.unable to understand why some people behave that particular way.can't stand their behaviour.but can't say it out.
KFC kovan.train of thoughts went back to the past.i think my imagination is really wild.and can really make my mood swing.a place in my heart,always reserved for you.
i hope you are doing much better than i am now.i will be happy seeing that.i know i can't see how you are doing, but i just hope.
mum baked many cakes.cheese cake.chocolate cheese cake.2 of them each.carrot cake.i dun wanna gain weight.so,i guess i shall let some of you taste the cake.
unfortunately you can't taste the cake.although i would like to see your expression when you first hear me say, 'i baked that'.
i want my own laptop.i want a mac one.most designers use a mac.
i wonder why mp3 players are becoming as essential as a hp.i wonder why.do you have to plug ur ears wif those two round things everywhere u go? life can continue very well without music 24/7.
sometimes i try things i haven't done becuz i think i should challenge myself.challenge the unfamiliar.then,i think again,im not interested.thou it is a challenge, but what if the challenge doesn't excite you? if you back out,will you be saying to yourself that you dare not take up the challenge?
haiz.i feel tired thinking of the past.but den,i would rather be someone who is full of emotions than one without.im not the type who say, forget it, and i will forget it.especially when emotions is the factor.


love thinking about you.but it is sad when i do so.

woo HOOO...! stef juz asked me if i wanna wakeboard!! hahahah!! do you know we were talking about this like 2 terms ago?? half a year! and she remembers!! im damn happy can...! but cuz that time busy and wakeboarding quite expensive so stef,roger and me din plan anything.haha!but now its the hols! must give stef a big hug! hee.
well,i just hope that my hopes aren't empty ones.that we will eventually wakeboard! hah.am i sounding too excited b4 anything even happens?oh well....
tmr got tournament at SP.haiz.i gotta miss church again.u know i have missed 2 weeks of church.and this is the 3rd.sigh.
my knee's a little better now.yesterday trng quite ok.not very good though.but hope to keep improving! =)



A pro demands a lot from himself, that's why he demands a lot from everything else.And everyone else?

那年的情书

手上青春还剩多少
思念还有多少煎熬
偶尔清洁用过的梳子
留下了时光的线条
你的世界但愿都好
当我想起你的微笑
无意重读那年的情书
时光悠悠青春渐老
回不去的那段相知相许美好
都在发黄的信纸上闪耀
那是青春诗句记号
莫怪读了心还会跳
你是否也还记得那一段美好
也许写给你的信早扔掉
这样才好曾少你的
你已在别处都得到

im at home.on the laptop again! im trying to get a hang of this feeling u noe.i think its pretty pro and cool.hahaha. . .did you notice that im starting to add spaces between the dots when i use them? lolx. . . can't train today.but my knee got better.the hip pain is gone! this morn it wasn't there anymore.but my knee still feels quite weak so i dun wanna risk it.gg to have dinner wif elmo! that means im gg to braddell.but im not trng.so i better not go so early.hahaha. . .im not there just to get that miserable 10 bucks ok.im there to watch them train!! lolxx...yeah.hmmm...i still haven't come to a conclusion on that impt decision i have to make.haha.in fact, it isn't even on my mind all the time.that means its not bothering me! and that means. . .i dun take it seriously??? hahahah...dunno.i really like the feeling of typing on this keypad.diff from desktop type u noe.really cool feeling.hahah.love the sound it makes.HAHA.seriously.
anw,had organic lunch! went wif mum to bugis.i drove.wasnt an exactly good journey.haha.i still need to improve on my parking.sucks.i take too long.dun stress me.
want to go to MICA! THE sixth FACE.yeah.i really want to go.actually i want to go now,before gg to braddell.but inertia too great! damn.but i want to go.hahahahaha..
wanna get my earhole done once and for all.yeah.the hole's gone.i think.closed up.anw it's only at bugis what.HAHA.
gg to the Schwan-Stabilo office tmr! wun tell you the details yet.but i think its pretty challenging and maybe, stressing for poor dorko.wahahhaha..wth. . .
can i type some more?will you read further if i continue typing senseless stuff?cuz i really like this keypad.the sound makes me high.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahhahaha....
eh.i wanna have ma own laptop! mac deh.hopefully.erm.i think my mind's blank.i just woke up.imagine this.you just woke up.at your bedside is a laptop still running.you just turn over and open up internet explorer and start checking your mail or chat wif ur online frens.how cool is that?????!!!!???? technology is making the world ever so small.we are living in a high tech world! but watch those wireless connections above your head.yeah.they are there!you can't see them.they're penetrating your body,your cells! and you can't see them!!! how horrifying!! the whole house is engaged in wireless connection! long rays of data are being shot in all directions! all over the house!! and you can't see them at all!!!!! how scary!!! maybe the world wld be better if it was like old Singapore.BARTER TRADE.RAFFLES.KAMPONG. life is good.

The sinseh was quite an inspiration to me.he told me alot that i din noe was true.he said that running is bad.for the knees.really bad.why run?to build up ur stamina?a better way is to play squash.swim.do sports that doesn't require too much running.like football.i was quite surprised.are muscles really good?well,they do make you look good.but what i just found out,more muscles means less flexibility.it's like comparing a new balloon and a balloon which has been blown once and deflated.the latter would be more expandable upon being blown the second time and like muscles, they have lost their elasticity.The sinseh said that i must have overly exercised.or, too regularly.sigh.i guess it must be when i was with u19.4 days a week.so much running.i can't believe i actually did all those rounds of running.i feel disgusted now.dun u think it would be fun if we could do other sports for fitness?cool rit. . .HAHA. . .so i see that Chinese and Western approaches are different.they study the same stuff and come up with different conclusions.how weird is that?who to believe?i told bernard that i think i overtrain.he said, more like undertrain??wth.anw,this time, the league period is longer.i think.like spread over 2 months?i just noe its longer.haha.i feel that it is longer.The sinseh's words really made me want to think over whether to continue playing.it's always so mao2 dun4 u noe, when it comes to such things.always something u cant let go of even thou it may be beneficial if you do.but you can't see the benefit yet and cant totally trust that in the end, you will end up better than before.sigh.actually, im just typing 'sigh' to show that its a depressing sentence.not that i really did 'sigh'! muahahahah...anw, now my hip hurts.weird manz.i took off the bandage one day earlier.haha.as i normally do.im like that.i hate to bathe with a plastic bag round my leg.disgusting when you get out of bath.i feel fragile at my knee.u noe, this sinseh is damn power can.his massages are so hard and with so much strength.siao liao...fortunately! dorko is still alive.but cant really kick as hard.haha.i think im gaining weight.shit.hols.ALWAYS!


i have to make a jue2 ze2.
u know what i hate most.it is to live with regrets.one is enough.
i want be in control!!!!!!

i was pondering. . .is it possible to like a few people at the same time?actually, it may be possible. well, i guess this doesn't only apply to hua1 xin1 people but maybe, to everyone of us. most importantly, i guess it is to only have one person in your heart. that will not be 'like' but 'love'. glad i told elmo some stuff yesterday. somehow, i feel like im not the only one who have such thoughts and am keeping them to myself and only myself. of course, i can't be telling everyone single person. haha. . .
quite glad that yesterday's tournament went ok. . .well,i was quite surprised that our team were the only team from eb that got into the quarters.really, it all boils down to some luck. not the best team wins. that is a great fact that i have learnt and realised. you know, its injury period again. bought Kordels joint aid + msm.HAHA.does it sound stupid.but yeah, i need it.i think. and have to get my ankle and knee back on track! yeah.today.so maybe i'll . . .skip trng! haha. . .u noe something. . .history is repeating.although i had not such a bad time for the past few weeks trng wif eb, history is repeating! im dreading trngs again! how come????!!!???? haiz.maybe it's field? friday's field was real bad. i wasn't in the state to play field right after futsal and really, i could feel that i wasn't ready. damn. so my knee suffered. and yesterday i got a knock on my ankle.
anw, i went for a hair cut this morn! muahHAHAHa... couldn't stand it any longer. . .but as usual, when my hair's short, it isn't nice to look at. . .only when its longer, ya, u see it better.hee.
okay, i guess i gtg for my consultation now...bet its gonna be a long wait...sigh..wish me luck in recovering...from my injury and from being stuck in the whirlwind of history.

hmm..i realised something.i have not been myself.but i do not know if that is good or not.but somehow,i would rather be myself now.the myself i am referring to is not someone who smiles at you everything you look at me.not someone who talks a lot.not someone who looks too enthusiastic.not someone who is easily influenced by the 'high' atmosphere she may be in.it's like im not living in my own world anymore.i guess i have been doing such since. . . . . but now,or rather,for the past week or so,i feel like i have stepped out of my own private world and into someone else's.or i mean, into the outside world where my moods are easily swayed by what is happening ard me.if someone next to me is happy and keeps smiling and talks non-stop to me,i would then become that person and start blabbering away.this doesn't happen when i am in my own world. so. . . i realised 2 days ago that i really am tired of being someone who isn't really myself. and although that someone is readily accepted by the pple ard, that someone isn't really me.i did not become that someone intentionally or purposely but due to influence,which may not be a negative thing after all.so now when i want to get back into my own world, hmmm. . . i do not know the consequences. maybe i wanted to step out of it. . .but now, i am getting tired of not being myself.
i do quite defend myself against changes.changes in character.changes in behaviour.changes in attitude.but inevitably, it happens without you knowing it.but when i do realised that it had happened, i have to weight the pros and cons.if it is for the better, then good! if not, that's gonna be real bad. sometimes, we have to embrace change. sometimes, it is better to protect yourself against it.
i do not know why but this holidays, i really do not want to do anything. i know i have some things to do but i keep procrastinating. there's something inside me which tells me to relax and really give myself a break.but i really yearn for next term. holidays may not be that beneficial after all. . .IF you do not know how to make good use of them.like me.like me now.maybe it's the great singapore sale.maybe it's the world book fair.maybe it's the hype happening all around me. but somehow i feel that i yearn for something which i do not possess. and that something, i can't be very sure what it is. i yearn to leave the house everyday. i do not wish to be bound by it. that isn't really me. or wasn't. there's a missing piece and my failure to define it is causing me frustration and boredom.
reading is a good habit. but when you start to sit down and read everyday and try to make time fly by reading and reading, it becomes a bore. it becomes a source of frustration. so. . . everything has its pros and cons. excesses aren't good. moderation is the best.
i think i need glucosamine and chondroitin again. the aching is back.damn.