sigh.i haven't been blogging for some time.cuz number 1,too tired. number 2,too lazy(as a result of number 1). number 3,my life has become uninteresting i bet none of u guys wanna read ma entry anw. number 4, if i blog too much,they are all gonna be unhappy ones.

ahahaa...aiya.too lazy to say anything else.except that i still haven't started wif my ppt slides.lolx.

sat was fun.except for the fact that gina couldn't differentiate fats from muscles.what is NOFUN. =P

i know gina wun be reading this...so......ahaha...

sian.had under-the-sun trng for 4 hrs on sat.but quite ok,since it has been a while that i got myself tanned.temp-tan only.lolx.

life can really sucks at times.

esp when u can't have what u want.
so the morale of the story is.....

do not ask for too much.be satisfied wif what u have.


but u know me,the above sentence isn't convincing enuf for me.

to be satisfied with current circumstances=no progress.

to seek more=pursuing greater perfection

i prefer the latter.

heehee..

this too! 

and this! 

oOOOhh! just look at this. 

i wanna put it down once and for all.Whatever is associated with ** in my brain, all must ! I hate sitting there and doing nothing. No talk, no crap, no whatever. Fine. Just have to drop it and leave it along the pathway of life. No point looking back, although, sadly, i often do. Yup.So that's the end. Pple, pls do not ask any more.
We were having fundamental visual studies in sch this afternoon and rinn came over to look at my sketches.Then she said something which strucked me.She said that my sketches were complicated and fu4 za2 and that maybe my brain is experiencing turbulence(in my own words), which sort of means that my life is unstable?ahaha!
well,i kind of have this thought too.i was like wondering, how come most of my art work turns out to be so different from the rest? like so,erm,damn it, what's the word,...............eh,turbulent?ahaha..yup,i thought of that b4.but came to no conclusion as to the source.ahaha.anyway,i sort of agreed with rinn.but is that a good thing or not??ahaha....that's for me to find out.
after that lesson we had lecture.and there were like only a meagre number of people.and we all sat at the back rows and in front of us were like so many rows of empty red seats.i think shd be the lecturer more pai seh than us.hee.well,it was sort of because of this lecture which,haiz,made me make up my mind.it's over.
gd nite everyone.
hopefully i can get my ahem,pirated photoshop going.
shit,am i gonna get fined for that.......
wth

wth with the past
it's a new beginning! =D

P.S. i really hope i can just look forward.

i feel very frustrated!!! don't know why,all of a sudden.so decided to listen to jolin's dao4 dai4(composed by Jay!)...which sort of made me more frustrated,which in a way is good because i get to release all my frustration at once!!!!! *damn iT*
who can i tell???who will listen??who will understand?? *damn it*
know why i am blogging when i should be sleeping???cuz............eh............don't really know why...anyway,joleen was cha2 xiao2-ing me with her msgs(hee...=P) and............no,no,actually i enjoyed chatting with her until she said,i have to take a shower.fine.ahaha..anyway,i couldn't have explained my frustration or however i was feeling to her right??
siGH.
missed training today.did not feel guilty.not a good sign. *waGS finger*
somehow i feel like swearing.but that is not the solution to my problem!!! although in a way,indirectly,it releases the tension building up within me...damn it...sorry i know this blog entry isn't erm,mind challenging or makes u think a lot, but its my blog! damn it.i wanna have a say!!!
shit.going crazy again.pai seh.how to say sorry in malay?? =P
anyway,i really think im a great mood swinger.i can just be 360 deg of what i was just a sec ago.is that a good thing??of cuz not.wth is that qn.fine.
nvm.anyway, it was because i saw a few lines of words on someone's website which sort of penetrated into me.yes,but no,i couldn't see the knife which went thru.not even the flashes.
but i have to learn to get over things.which is something i haven't been able to do for a very x5 long time.damn it.
in 2 minds.that's not good.
does your left shoulder ache when u use the comp for too long???mine always does.does it have anything to do with growing older?wth.no,this is not a wise topic to blog.skip.


must cultivate the desire to win.
desire to win
desire to win
desire to win
desire to win
desire to win
desire to see you again
desire to win
desire to win
desire to win
desire to win
desire to win
desire to win
desire to win

Tiger Woods said something that I found
interesting: "In golf, mental practice is crucial because the
ball sits still on every shot.?Unlike, for example, hockey,
tennis or basketball, golf is a game of creation, not reaction.
Negative thoughts and anxiety can easily intrude when an athlete
has to initiate a motion."?

I was thinking that the same goes for that eerie stillness that
sometimes surrounds my easel.?So many times I've asked myself
how relatively good work happens one time--and not the next.?So
many times I've had to look into the particulars of my mental
practice.?Today, for some reason, I seemed to be knocking the
ball onto the green and close to the pin.?Today seemed better
than a lot of other days.?I'm going to analyze what was going
on today and we'll try to find out why:

Concentration:?The capability of focus.
Visualization:?The sight of the unseen.
Curiosity:?The need to be intrigued.
Desire:?The wish to do well.
Drive:?The pressure of eagerness.
Patience:?The place of no hurry.
Worthiness:?The finding of significance.
Settlement:?The joy of some inner peace.
Comfort:?The envelopment of music and warmth.
Instinct:?The feeling of just letting it flow.
Appreciation:?The hearing of gentle applause.

Having said all that, I have to tell you that last night a snow
blizzard gave us a power outage.?By 3 a.m. our home was pretty
cold.?Even Dorothy noticed--she stuck her nose under the
bedclothes and spoke to us about it.?By candlelight and
flashlight I brought in wood and lit two fireplaces.?I fired up
some coffee on a paraffin burner.?Tending the home fires, there
was no more sleep, so I couldn't put "well rested" in the list
above.?When the power came back on about 8 a.m., I went
bleary-eyed into the studio and thought about beginning.?I had
that nauseating feeling that today I was going to be a duffer.
But something happened.?In my mental tiredness, I was getting a
message that I call "the extra chance syndrome."?Today might be
a special day because it was already rotten and it didn't
matter.?And because it didn't matter, it did.?As Tiger says,
"It's only a game."
PS: "The mind stands in the way of the eye." (Arthur Stern)

Esoterica: In the golf analogy, the mental practice that goes on
between finding the ball and striking the ball is the most
crucial.It's looking at and thinking about your next moves on
a work-in-progress that means the most and can get you into the
most trouble.?Art requires both thinking and not thinking.?Art
requires visualizing without micro-managing your visualization.
And in the end when you select your brush or other tool, you put
your trust in something else that is still unknown and perhaps
unknowable.

yiKEs! i finally got broadband. muahahahaha...dunno if that's a good thing though.for the pocket(not mine.hee) and for the obsession(my bro's.haha!)
anyway, first week of school wasn't too good or too bad but wasn't perfect for me.cuz.......hahaha....haiZ
quite a lot of stuff to do also....but! my new class, 1N, is not a bad class! quite happy that everyone can talk..haha...

sick.sore throat +flu.sigh.
get well soon dorKO.