Seeing the number smacked right at the top of 'THE STRAITS TIMES' increasing exponentially each day, i really can't help but really wonder if it is so possible that so many people are found dead each day.It's kind of impossible for me and too much for me to comprehend. 'IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING', sort of applies very well here.siGh.It's a very sad ending to the year and makes any celebration meaningless.I really think it is more humane and sensible+sensitive for all celebrations to be cancelled and have a mourning period broadcast live for everyone where ever we are, for a moment of silence.I think i would be terribly devastated if any one of the people i knew went with the wind(tsunami actually.heE.). But fortunately, God is and has not been so cruel towards me as to take away any of my beloved family members and people whom i know dearly and i hope it stays that way.hEe.
This event clearly showed how generous and kind hearted Singaporeans can be even when the economy isn't booming and i believe those contributing aren't only those who belong to the higher income group. I am so thankful that i am a Singaporean and so proud of my country! I am really glad I was born right here, right in this small red dot whom some people describe as no bigger than a,ehem,*****(whatever you call it. =P )
But of course there would be a group of people who take no heed to what is happening because it isn't affecting them at all.This takes me to the point i want to make.
I really regret going to bbq nite. While we were having 'fun' at the chalet, we forgot about what was and is still happening. I feel guilty that while i am 'enjoying' myself, many dead bodies are still being uncovered and people are still mourning for their loved ones. Worse still, I don't like the games we played, which i think should not be encouraged. This may also be partially why i decided to skip trng today. (heE.)
In fact, i have been wondering a lot about football in my life because it seems to have lost priority over time. Maybe it's not football but the influence of the club and the people in there who are overshadowing my passion for football. I know i should not be influenced by the people and environment around me but ultimately, all these affect my football.sadly. =(
I did not and still do not like the way the big yellow bird encouraged us to take part in the games because that only shows how dirty and corrupted he is up there.Which is well known to everybody. But to this and because i want to continue playing football, i closed one eye.for very long.until recently when i started asking myself, do i really want to play for such a coach? for such a team?
the bbq nite was the spark which really bothered me.
but.i have no where else to play my football if i quit eb.
so coward of me isn't it.
to 'sacrifice' my conscience for football,
because i fear.
i know i need to take control of my feelings,i need to think more than to feel.i need to take the right actions, make the right decisions and not succumb to any pressure and do things against my conscience, which is very important to me but which also makes me procrastinate when i cannot make up my mind.



the best way to get rid of a problem is to solve it.

May 2005 be a more fufilling and peaceful year for everybody. =D